The "Great" Commission of Gwen Shamblin and Remnant Fellowship

The “Great” Commission of Gwen Shamblin & Remnant Fellowship:

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The Left Foot of Disfellowship

A Meeting With Remnant Fellowship, New York

The call never came. At first, on Thursday night as I stewed about what Gwen would say to Maria and me, I was nervous. I knew that she would call soon, because I had humbled myself in the email. I had been as contrite as I knew how to be. I was very anxious, too, because I do not like to be at odds with another believer, and it was important to me to clear the air. But by Friday morning, when no call came, it became fairly clear to me that there was not going to be a call. Just in case, I placed a call to David Martin and Jayne Fiedler. In both cases, I was given their voice mails. I left messages, but I was pretty sure that they would not be answered.

Finally, the stress and strain of waiting became too much. Our city was devastated and we could still smell the smoke in the air. Not only were we getting the cold shoulder from Nashville, our friends began treating us somewhat oddly as well. They still took our calls, but they were strangely formal, not casual as the calls usually were. They listened to our concern as we vented our frustrations because we couldn’t get in contact with Gwen or David Martin, and continually encouraged us to pray.

We decided that the best thing we could do was to get out of town, put some distance between us and the city and the cold, uncomfortable situation we were in. We took a spontaneous trip to visit family in Richmond, Virginia. Driving away seemed to put the situation more and more in perspective. I mean, after all, what had we done that was really wrong? We may have been confused, and wanted to discuss some differences of opinion, but I had definitely apologized to Gwen herself. Sincerely so. I wanted to work out the problem. If Remnant Fellowship was not going to call back, didn’t that betray something about the character of this movement? And movement or not, I had written that email to Gwen. If she chose not to forgive me and try to reconcile our differences, didn’t that say something about her?

We were able to stop thinking about the situation for awhile at least, until we decided to call our friends and check in with them. Again, the conversation was cold, leaving us feeling low. Maria’s co-coordinator told her that the leadership in Remnant Nashville was very angry with me, because they saw a lot of pride in my letter; that they had chosen not to call me back, period. She also stated that she felt that the email was prideful as well. And they wanted us to come back as soon as possible because they had some things they wanted to discuss with us.

I had a sinking feeling. This was my confirmation that I had messed up royally, that I truly was a prideful man who didn’t recognize God’s true authority on earth when it was sitting right in front of him. I knew that if we went back to talk to our friends, that I would have to nearly grovel if I wanted them to let us back into fellowship with them.

And yet, I couldn’t believe that they thought my letter was prideful. I apologized, for goodness sake! But that didn’t mean that I wasn’t going to ask my question! Is that what they meant by pride? That I asked a character question of Gwen Shamblin? That I called things the way that I truly saw them, and asked the issue to be addressed?

We agonized over what to do, praying and praying. What did God want us to do? We felt so trapped. Something told me that if I joined Remnant Fellowship now, I was in for a gauntlet of spiritual abuse that I would probably not be able to endure. It would mean swallowing every question I felt in my heart and conscience and just jumping in on blind faith. It would mean submitting totally to the authority of my new spiritual head, (my policeman friend), which ultimately, it seemed to me, meant submitting to Gwen Shamblin. It would also mean confessing to pride in that email, which I didn’t feel when I wrote it.

On the other hand, these were our best friends. We had never been closer with other Christians before. We had worked alongside each other, studying the Word and praying constantly. We had confessed sins to each other, and built each other up in times of need. One had a baby due imminently, and she had asked Maria to be in the delivery room with her. We had vacationed together. And at a large gathering of friends and family, they had toasted me and said the kindest things that friends could ever say about me. We loved these people. There was no way that they would let us be harmed. We trusted them to shield us from the leadership in Nashville, intercede for us and help us correct the misunderstandings.

I cannot describe the torment that I was in that night, as I tried to decide what I would do. I vacillated between turning my back on Remnant Fellowship and embracing it. I knew I had a penchant for pride. Perhaps this was God’s will for me, to be humbled so that all the pride in my heart could be burned out of me, and I could finally stand before Him without it burdening my heart. In the end, we decided to go back early to New York, demonstrate our humility, try to explain what had happened, and “throw ourselves upon the mercy of the court.”

In many ways, I think part of my decision was made out of fear. We had been told over and over while in Nashville that there was only One Church. If we didn’t join Remnant, would we be missing our chance to be a part of that church? And besides, where could we go? We couldn’t go back to our old church, and we knew of no other church that demanded total obedience to God and His authorities as did Remnant Nashville. Therefore, I reasoned, perhaps I should just swallow my questions and misgivings and trust that God would just work out things through His will in the Remnant church. If there were things that didn’t seem right, surely since the leadership was so bound and determined to obey God, they would eventually be corrected.

Even as I made this decision, my heart was crying out within me. I no longer felt free to decide. Circumstances and my new convictions had trapped me. I cried out to God in tears saying, “God, I don’t know what you want me to do! I don’t agree with things here, and I’m being mistreated and misunderstood. But, I think it must be your will that I join Remnant Fellowship. I don’t have the strength to do anything differently. Father, please! If this is not what you want, if this church is not the right place for us to be, let them be unmerciful. Let them send us packing. If this is the wrong decision, please save us!”

We drove back to New York with lightened hearts. We felt anxious about the upcoming meeting, but we felt that God was in control and that as long as we were humble and penitent, He would take care of the rest. We sang hymns to Him, prayed and read Scripture.

Who Are These People?

Our friends seemed odd, distant, when we finally got to our friend’s apartment that Sunday night. They had not wanted to hug us, a usual ritual amongst us all. They weren’t making small talk. They had us sit down, and informed us that since our absence, they had been praying about this moment. They had also been sitting for two days and thinking over every sin and misdeed that we had ever forgotten, trying to plumb the depths of the evil in our hearts. Maria’s co-coordinator then stated that they were about to expose our sin, and the lies and deceptions that had clouded our relationships with them since the beginning of our association. “This is an accusation,” she began. “We are bringing out all of the darkness into the light.” And with that, most of them began to list every sin that we had ever committed in our relationship with them.

They started in on Maria first. The onslaught of icy condemnation was crushing. They accused her of sins she had committed. Exaggerations she had told, gossip she had indulged in (with them), and deceptions. Some of what they said was true. Some of the incidents were misunderstandings that could have been cleared up if they had asked questions first. And some of what was said was just plain ludicrous. One of them even accused her of being greedy and thinking only of material success (this to a woman who is rarely aware of how much she gets paid and would work for free if she thought the job was fun!) But much of what they were condemning Maria for was regarding interpersonal conflicts that the three wives had gotten into at different points in their relationships, for which they were all responsible. These events (many of them confessed and dealt with long ago) were dredged back up and recast with most of the responsibility attributed to Maria’s “sinful divisiveness.” Throughout the conversation, it became clear that at least one member of the Remnant Fellowship leadership in Nashville had assisted in amassing Maria’s sin list. Maria did not answer back. She listened, cried, and apologized.

I was next. I was chastised for being prideful, controlling, mocking, and divisive. Times when I had dominated our Bible studies and discussions with involved Scriptural arguments and interpretations were recounted. But my biggest fault appeared to be my lack of submission to authority, and my evident lack of respect for the leadership of Remnant Fellowship.

After listing our transgressions, they calmly said, “Because this is the way you are, and because our friendship has always been twisted by this sin and deception, we don’t even know who you are. We don’t want to have a relationship with you any more. We’d appreciate it if you take back these things (gifts we had given them) and not call us or contact us anymore. Our friendship is over.” They went on to inform us that they were making this decision on their own, that the leadership at Remnant Nashville had stated that it was up to Remnant New York to decide what to do about us, although they made it clear that they would no longer deal with us. We were told that one of the other women would run Weigh Down Advanced, and that the current Weigh Down and Strongholds classes would be cancelled. Furthermore, they informed us that they were clearly being led by the spirit of God to disfellowship us, because in their flesh they would never go through with such a drastic measure. “As far as we’re concerned, this meeting is over. You can go now.”

We were stunned. We thought they were listing all of our sins to help us get them out in the open and be better Christians. We had no idea that this was where they were headed. We just stared. The men wouldn’t look us in the eye. We asked them to do so. One responded (the one that had not joined in on the “accusation”) that God had silenced him for his pride, and that he couldn’t say anything about what was going on.

Finally, I spoke. “We came here to apologize for our sins, and put ourselves under your authority. I’ve never been more sincere. That doesn’t matter?”

They responded by telling us we needed to get on our faces before God, and apologize to Him for our sin. I’ll never forget Maria’s terrified, tearful words. “But, there’s only one church, right? And if we’re not in it . . . what’s going to happen to our souls?” Her best friend answered, “That’s not my decision to make. I just know that our relationship is over.”

I thought I would vomit, seeing what my wife was being put through. “Okay, then,” I said, standing up. “We’ll go. We continue to love every one of you.” We walked out the door, never to see any of them since.